Kevin Pollack has become so recognized for his work on the big screen, that audiences may not remember that he first found success as a popular stand up comedian. Last year he joined the ensemble cast of the academy award winning drama "The Usual Suspects", and also appeared with Jack Lemmon and Walter Matthau in the successful comedy sequel "Grumpier Old Men" in which he reprised his role from the smash hit, "Grumpy Old Men"! He was also seen in Martin Scorsese's searing drama, "Casino".
Kevin earlier earned wide spread praise for his work in Rob Reiner's "A Few Good Men" in which he starred with Tom Cruise, Demi Moore and Jack Nicholson. He made his feature film debut in Ron Howard's "Fantasy Willow". A native of the San Francisco Bay area, Kevin began his career doing stand up comedy and has produced and starred in two HBO comedy specials, The Cable Ace Award nominated, "One Night Stand", and "Stop With The Kicking".
Q: Tell me the name of the movie that you're working on with Arnold.
A: It's called "End of Days" and deals with the end of the millenium. But it's in tone a very sort of scary creepy "Exorcist" type of thing.
Q: What's your part in the movie?
A: I basically am there to make sure Arnold has his capuccino about seven in the morning, and that foot massage about four in the afternoon. No, really, we play partners, ex-cops, and now we're running security for big famous wealthy people. We sort of get involved in saving this young girl who's being pursued by evil forces. Evil forces literally in the incarnation of Satan himself who's come to earth, looking for a bride. It's very dark, scary, creepy as opposed to his tongue in cheek action, followed by a flippant remark from him. Although I play his sidekick, it's very far removed from a typical sidekick in a Schwartzenneger movie where you've got some rye comment after he's kicked somebodies ass. There's a few light moments of course, always needed in something so dark, scary and creepy. But Peter Hines is the director, Gabriel Byrne plays the character who Satan comes and takes his body. Robin Tunney plays the fem fatale that we're trying to save. It's huge Stan Winston doing the special effects and of course he reinvents the wheel every time. It's really just a giant 100 million dollar juggernaut, and I'm just happy to be on board.
Q: Let's talk funny.
A: You got it baby.
Q: How was it that you were able to make the transition from stand up comic to actor.
A: Well, I was OK sing along with a lot of other standups at the comedy clubs in town. Like the Improv, mostly back then. This was 1985, 86, something like that. Slowly there would be people in the audience, directors, writers, casting people, and you just go through the introduction of audition for this, audition for that. I moved here from San Francisco where I was born and raised in 1983, And by 1986 I started to get a lot of auditions for television and what not. I didn't really break into film until 89. That was just a matter of going on literally hundreds of auditions and finally you get one. For me I was very fortunate that one of the very first films I did was "Avalon", which was Barry Levinson's film. A lot of people think it was Barry's masterpiece. I was fortunate in that I got to work not only with him, a guy who used to be a standup (which a lot of people don/t know). But still thinks like a comic and hates acting. So I was a guy who had been performing since I was ten years old and had no formal training. /When I later worked with Rob Reiner on "A Few Good Men" he said it's "Earn while you learn", which is not a bad way to go. So I worked with Barry in this thing, and I was at such an impressionable stage in my acting career that it was very fortunate to meet up with someone who hated acting. Because I knew so little about acting. For me it was just about being natural in front of the camera. So I happen to be just so insanely lucky, that Barry Levinson had all these legitimate actors, a lot of Chicago stage actors actually. Aiden Quinn, Elizabeth Perkins, and the great Amenular Stahl, which is like the Olivia of Germany. Joan Ploughright who was married to Olivia, and brilliant in her own right of course. And then me. The only actual Jew in a story of Jews. Thank you very much. Barry just said, be real loose and natural and relax in front of the camera. You're exactly what I had in mind. But even getting that role was one of those few moments in my life where I went beyond the normal call, the normal route. I was working on a project, a TV thing with Rob Reiner, and I got this script for this movie called "The Family", which was the original name for "Avalon", and I read it and thought it was incredible of course, the great Jewish immigrant story. But my head was really in this television project I was working on. I had to go over in the middle of working on the TV thing and audition for the film. Barry wasn't there and I was put on tape and it was a very strange and painful and annoying process of being put on tape. You always imagine the director later eating a tuna fish sandwich watching these tapes being interrupted by phone calls. So I auditioned and I went back to work on the TV thing, and a couple of weeks went by and I didn't hear anything and I thought, "Well so much for that.". Then it just hounded me in my head. "I've got to be in this movie, I've got to play this character Izzie Kirk." So I called my then manager who knew Barry's producing partner, Mark Johnson. They got word to Barry that I wanted another shot at it. Barry said, "You know, I'd seen Kevin at the Improv a couple of years ago I brought him into audition for "Tinman" and "Good Morning Vietnam" which is true, he didn't get either movie, but I'm a fan, I like him, he's the right age and the right look for this role, I've never seen him do anything that calls for this much dramatic depth, but I'm here in Baltimore location scouting, if he wants to come to Baltimore and show me what he's got I'll be happy to take a look". So I flew myself to Baltimore to see if I could bat with the big boys. I was in Chicago at the time, and a great Chicago actor, Joe Guzaldo, was there, and he worked with me on the audition, I want to mention that. Joe's a great stage actor, and he really worked with me hard on the audition. So I flew my self to Baltimore and knocked Barry out and that went great, and got the part. But there was an opportunity for me to seize the moment and not let it go away. Ressurect it, go beyond the normal route, and try to make something happen.
Q: The scene that I remember from that movie is the Thanksgiving Dinner.
A: Without the brother.
Q: You started the turkey without the brother.
A: You cut the turkey! That was classic. We shot that for three days, have you ever eaten turkey for three days? That ole triptephan will get you I tell you. I slept for a month. Barry sort of let us roam in and out of the dialog. It was a great freedom to explore and improvise, which I've tried to do on every film since then. I'm now working on number 32! 32 films in a little over ten years.
Q: But who's counting?
A: Not me! Why would I count?
Q: Do you ever still have a desire to do standup?
A: I do standup still. I just haven't done nightclubs in years. I do big charity functions. The giant showbiz money fundraisers. When they have big name talent, I'll go out and do some stand up for that. I also do one-nighters here. Less and less over the last five years of course, but I still do enough to keep my toe in the pool. I've promised myself and my wife that I would never stop doing it because it's too important of an art form. I have too much
love for it and too much appreciation and absolute joy on stage doing it. But because I think I started out doing it as a full time stand up comic, my dream was to act in movies. So now that I've gone beyond my dreams and am living this life, this fantasy life of being an actual actor in movies, or as my mother would say, "a movie star!", I can't say it, it doesn't feel right. It feels like I'm a big schmot really. What do you do? Movie star. That's ridiculous, why would you say that? My mother would. So although it's my roots and although I never want to stop doing it, there's still a feeling of even greater joy that I don't need to rely on it for a living, because it's a very very hard life.
Q: I did it early on, and it's one of the hardest things that anybody could ever do. Forgive me I never saw you work, tell me a little bit about your act.
A: I did stand up, or I have for over twenty years. My second HBO special which was my first hour long HBO special........
Q: "Stop kicking me already?"
A: Close, "Stop with the kicking." Close, "Stop kicking me already", that would have been even more Jewish. I thought "stop with the kicking" was enough. Oddly enough, that title sprung from a routine that started with Arnold Schwartenneger, and here we are in his restaurant Shotzies. Or Shotzie. I keep calling it Shotzies. There's a guy in the back named Shotzie. He says, "Hi, this my food, this is Shotzies!" But no, turns out it's Shotzie. I was talking about Arnold Schwartzenneger saying that regardless of what you think of him, he's living the American dream. Here's a guy who obviously grew up in a small country, and read in the back of a comic book, he could pump iron and come to America. He pumped WAY too much iron, comes to America, now he's the number one box office draw worldwide, makes twenty million dollars a movie, plus, he's nailing a Kennedy. So come on, if that's not the American dream, I don't know where the hell you grew up! I said the worst thing a out Arnold is that he's spawning all these Schwartzenegger wannabe's. Jean Claude Von Damm, who is this guy? It sounds like three chefs that screwedup the soup! "JEAN CLAUDE VON DAM!! I cannot serve this!" Steven Segal, ever heard of anybody with the name Segal? I think at one point it was little Stevie Seagull getting his ass kicked around the playground. Segal. My favorite of the new guys is Jeff Speakman. A Chicago boy. Yeah, new action hero Jeff Speakman. What kind of a name for an action hero is Jeff Speakman?!?! So,it's the Kung Fu Jew!
Oh oy! I would throw a kicking move and go oh my back, oh my back, wait,wait,wait, stop with the kicking stop wait a second, wait awhile. That's where the title of the HBO special came. The HBO special comes out as the same time as "A Few Good Men". The way that the audience discovers you, that's how they know you. So although I've been doing stand up for twenty years and had one other HBO special, I never did the Tonight Show as a standup. That's another one of those destiny moments that I sort of took the reigns on, which I'd be happy to tell you about. But I never really presented myself to America on television as a standup other than this one half hour HBO special. So if weren't the two million people who had HBO that week, you missed it. So "A Few Good Men " was this giant international sensation where I was working with some of the biggest stars in the world. In fact I was "Where's Waldo?" in the cast. That's how think movie going audiences discovered me, and it overshadowed some twenty years of stand up work, because I was sprung into this rarified air of this giant successful film, working with these huge stars.
Q: Tom Cruise and Jack Nicholson and Demi Moore.
A: Yeah and Kevin Bacon and Keifer Sutherland, JT Walsh. It was an amazing experience and I wasn't sad, that I was catapulted with his giant movie, it was what I wanted, I always wanted to be in the movies. Ironically, because it overshadowed twenty years of standup, there was some sadness. There was the success and celebration of being able to slow down the standup work, and focus more on films, and at the same time there was the sadness of this transition of sort of leaving it behind. Because I've been doing it since I was ten, it isn't hard work for me to stand on stage, it's the greatest joy. Honestly, to take the audience for a ride for an hour. As the standup you're the writer the director the editor the producer the choreographer you do it all. It's such a solo endeavor. Film is all about collaboration. All about listening. Which as a standup you would never do. Why would you listen? That would be silly. You have to keep talking. Which is I think, oddly enough, is why a lot of standups don't make the transition so easily to acting because they tend to push, they tend to try to make something out of the moment as you would on stage as a standup. Instead of just relaxing in the scene and listening. Which I again, was fortunate enough to work with Barry Levinson , and later JT Walsh who was a great mentor, and found out that there was this great technique, less is more. I figured that sounds good for me because I don't have more. I don't have any of that to offer as an actor. JT actually taught me less is more, nothing is best. If you can literally do nothing in a scene and be the more interesting person in the scene, guess what? You win. So that was what happened really to my standup career, was this giant film, "A Few Good Men". I started doing less and less standup, and now I probably do a half dozen dates a year to keep myself somewhat involved in it.
Q: What were you doing at ten? Putting on shows for your mother and relatives?
A: Yeah it started out that way. My mom brought home Bill Cosby's first album, The Noah and the Ark routine. I think the name of the album was "Bill Cosby's a very funny fellow, Right?" So I am listening to this album by myself, a hundred, two hundred times. They didn't have video games or the interactive types of toys, so this became my game, to listen to this album, and stand up in front of the stereo and act as if I was the guy telling the story. I never heard of the phrase lip syncing, I didn't know what that meant, I just knew this was a fun thing to do. I of course was lip syncing to this album. My mother caught me just walking by, looked at me and started laughing hysterically. I wasn't trying to be funny, I wasn't trying to be anything other than wanting to play. I was listening to this album, and I wanted to interact with it. So, she thought it was hysterical, and I said, "Oh that's good, now what?" So we did it for the family and the relatives, and eventually, I did this as an act. From the age of ten to sixteen, all through junior high and high school, at assemblies and father daughter dinner dances folk festivals, what ever the hell the event was at the schools I was doing this bit. I used it as an audition piece and got the starring role in a musical when I was eleven years old. One of the few stage experiences I had as an actor. The other was my senior year in high school. I did "Godspell".
Q: Did you ever tell Bill Cosby?
A: I've run into him a few times and I had mentioned this in interviews the first couple of times I did The Tonight Show. It wasn't necessarily something he needed to know is how I felt about it. Maybe your readers are feeling the same way about it right now. Because I started when I was ten years old, I worshipped all the standups I saw on the Ed Sullivan Show and The Tonight Show. By the time I got to Los Angeles, and by the time I got into the clubs, and getting a shot at doing standup on the Tonight Show, it went from about fifty guys when I was twelve or thirteen years old that would go on The Tonight Show and kill, to 1984,1985, there were suddenly hundreds of guys that were on The Tonight Show. Many of which I didn't really think were that good. It sort of diluted that fantasy of doing the monologue on thee Tonght Show and having Johnny giving you the big okay sign. So by the time they got around to asking me to do it , it was 1987, I think, and I said, "You know what? I know you can't justify, ( I said this to The Tonight Show talent coordinator) sitting me down cause there's a protocol, but that's where you have the most impact on The Tonight Show." Your first time out you don't sit down unless you're an actor. A standup, you gotta do standup several times before you sit down. So I said, "Sitting down doing my impressions for Johnny, that's what's going to make a difference for me. So I'm going to wait. I appreciate you asking me to do it now, (and this again, was a fantasy I'd had for twenty some years) but I'm going to wait until I have a movie or TV show out so that you can justify sitting me down". Now at that point I didn't have a TV show or a movie that I'd even done. But I said, I'm willing to wait till you can justify sitting me down. Because that's when I'll make Johnny really laugh. It took about a year, and I had a movie out, the film I did for Ron Howard and George Lucas called "Willow", and they had me come on the show and go right to couch as an actor. Of course I was loaded for bear with my impressions, and I did them all from the couch. Because to me the guys who blew me away were David Steinberg, Rodney Dangerfield, Steve Martin; guys who did their act from the couch right next to Johnny making Johnny laugh. That's what was impressive to me. That's why I held out for that opportunity. The first time out when I started doing the impressions for Johnny, he just flipped, he really really was a great supporter and fan and he had me on the show three times a year every year after that until he retired. He loved all the impressions. I taught him how to do the Columbo my second time on the show. The first time when I did Columbo on the show he just said (impersonating Carson)"That's amazing how do you do that? That is absolutely incredible!"
I replied (now doing Columbo), "Well Johnny it's a trick, I swear to God it's a trick, in fact that's what Peter Falk said when I first met him. He said, how do you do that with your eye? Me I understand, but how do you do that?" So I taught Johnny how to do it the second time on the show.
Q: So how do you do it?
A: Well if I explain it to your readers, they might hurt themselves. If you cross your eyes, and then look to the left, then cross your eyes and look to the left, it looks like only one eye is moving. From the crossed eye position, your right eye is already looking to the left. So if you cross them, look to the left, cross them, look to the left, it looks just like one eye is moving. Please don't try it at home 'cause you're going to hurt yourself. I won't be held liable will I?
Q: No. What were some of the other impressions?
A: I found the impressions when I was sixteen or seventeen years old and didn't even realize I had the ability to do them. I was with friends after a high school football game, hanging out in the park, drinking beers, and I started doing Nixon, The Godfather, whatever the impressions were of the seventies. They all just started laughing hysterically. I said, "Well I guess I can do this!" Now I like to do the esoteric ones, the strange ones. I never really did John Wayne, or Jack Benny. I would do Albert Brooks (he goes into character)"Excuse me sir I hate to bother you,)
Q: Albert Brooks? How would you do that?
A: (As Albert Brooks) "Is it me? Am I crazy? Listen to me, I swear to God, this girl putting on the makeup, seriously come on, is this too much with the scarf and the hair? Come on, it's beautiful, look it is! I'm going to go lie down, I'm nauseous." Or Christopher Walken, or Alan Arkin? Imagine somebody doing Alan Arkin?
(As Walken) "I don't understand something, I'll be honest with you, did you see 'The Inlaws?' Peter Falk, Alan Arkin? One of the funniest movies of all time. They go up to scene where they're going to meet the dictator. And Peter Falk before they knock on the door says...
(as Falk) 'Whatever you do, Shel, he'a very sensitive, he has a scare on his face, you shouldn't mention this.
(Arkin)Why would I say anything? The man has a scar, why would I say anything?
(Falk) I'm just asking, don't mention it.
(Arkin) Of course I'm not going to mention it, what am I insensitive? That's ridiculous!
They open the door and the guy literally has a big "Z" on his face. Alan Arkin literally does this "Why would I say something, A "Z"!?!?!
Kevin continues on as Christopher Walken: "Christopher Walken, you know, this is a guy who's crazy gut still, he's brilliant riveting, that sort of thing, why would someone impersonate him, I don't know. Wow! It's crazy, whatever."
So there you got it.
Q: Yeah, you've got that stocatto.
A: Yes. He actually was at a press conference recently for a film. My friend who's a journalist was there and someone asked him, what do you think of the people doing impressions of you Chris, and who do you think does the best one? He says, (As Walken) "Well first of all I didn't realize I had a strange voice. I mean what's the point, really, but, my wife thinks Kevin does the vest." My friend says, "Kevin Pollack?"
Just to make sure. (As Walken) "Yeah, I haven't seen it but I hear it's good. I don't know. Again, why would somebody do me? I don't know. It doesn't make sense."
Jay Moore, great actor and impressionist. I learned from the guy who wrote "The Usual Suspects" . We were working on another project together and he was doing Christopher Walken all the time. I sort of learned to do the voice from listening to him. Then I ran into Jay Moore and Jay really gave me the key. Jay was the first guy to do the impression on Saturday Night Live. He did Christopher Walken's Psychic Friends Hotline. No one called. "Okay, the lines are open, please call now." And they just sat there. So Jay said when you do Christopher Walken every single syllable word, becomes a two syllable word. So the word "now" becomes "na-ow!". Two syllables, one syllable word. The esoteric impressions are what I always did. William Shatner, put him in the act. Billing him as the king of overacting for no apparent reason. There you've got something who's created pause acting. This won't read very well. (As Shatner)
"There's where (pause) you pause, (pause) for no (pause) reason. (He does more Shatner pausing every third word.) I discussed this with him at great length when I finally met him thinking he was going to killme because I had been doing him on talk shows and what not. I though I was mocking him, but of course I was doing an "homage" out of respect and admiration. At least that's how he felt, Thank God!
He recently included a passage in a book he has coming out, I've read the excerpt, the book is going to be hysterical, it's called "Get A Life". I guess from that sketch he did on Saturday Night Live, where he addresses the Star Trek conventioneers, and he says. "Get a life you people!". It's all about his life, and he had me come to his office and explain to him and his co-writer how I do the impersonation. Literally, technically how I break it down. When Captain Kirk gets hit by the phaser or some sort of ray gun by some other creature, the arms thrust out this way. Then there's this pensive look up to some god asking for help or the indignation he feels towards the hundred foot Apollo. You know that episode where he faces Apollo, literally, a hundred foot enemy. With total indignancy he says, "What gives you the right?" Threatening this menacing enemy with guaranteed death.
Q: I saw you on Tom Snyder the other week and you have now started a production company with your wife?
A: My wife started a production company about six or seven years ago. Then I joined forces with her. It's called Calm Down Productions. She named the company. I love it because when people call the office the secretary says, "Calm Down!". We were Warner Brothers for three years, we left there about a year ago, and we're more independent now. Instead of being under the studio umbrella and controlled, we can diversify a lot more and work with all the studios and so we're enjoying independence a little bit more.
You probably heard me mention that were working on a series of films, developing a series of films. The thing to do Jonathan, is to see what's working in the market place and then take advantage of it. Exploit what's working already. You know the teen slasher movies? "I know what you did last summer" We're gearing up several projects in this genre. First one's called, "I know what you did last weekend". We have big hopes for that. Next ones called "I think I saw you at the Piggly Wiggly", we're very, very excited about that one. We're so excited we already have a sequel in plan. It's in script form. It's called, "I'm still pretty sure I saw you at the Piggly Wiggly". The last one, we just hired someone to develop the idea, it's called, "I know what color your eyes are". (laughing) Hopefully these films will work and people will be excited. Actually I've written a couple of screenplays and my wife is working with another writer as well, developing his scripts. We invested in a play that was running here. A big Broadway play that came to Los Angeles "Last Night At Balihoo". That's the second play that we've been a part of. The first one we also produced. A couple of television shows, and a couple of movies. So we're enjoying the independent world quite honestly. As far as a startup company goes, well I'll tell you as an actor that's certainly where the better material I think is circulating.
Q: Do you remember the first cigar you ever smoked?
A: I was about thirteen. My brother Craig, my cousin Ron Zucker and I were at the top of the hill at the end of the Zucker family street smoking probably White Owls or Tiparillos or something like that. I've been smoking them ever since. Then a friend, Paul Reiser, fine comedian, actor and his own damn self, maybe about six years ago, turned me on to Cubans. Now that's a problem. I was immediately taken in by that whole contraband thing, I wanta tell you! Embargo? What Embargo? So whenever I'm offered a Cuban per se, well I certainly enjoy them. Never actually purchased any. Why would I? That would be Illegal!
Q: Doing business with the enemy!
A: Doing business with the enemy indeed! (As Clinton) "You know before I leave office, I 'm pretty convinced we do have a chance to settle this whole embargo thing. If for no other reason, to free up an awul lot of cigars that I still have work to do with!"
The amazing thing about the Clinton Scandal, is the thought process sitting in the Oval Office as the President, what kind of thought process goes through your head, where you figure out that you need to have someone perform oral sex on you in the Oval Office. How is that decided on? I just pictured him sitting at his desk in the Oval office surrounded by his advisors. Shortly after being elected.
(Advisor), " Congratulations Mr. President."
(As Clinton), "I know this is very exciting fellas, it is, but I just have been sitting here thinking, there has got to be a way to make this whole thing just a little bit sweeter!".
(Advisor) "What do you mean sir? You're President sir".
(Clinton) "I know, I know I'm President of the United States, that's cool, but there's got to be something to make this thing just a little bit better."
(Advisor) "Sir you're the single most powerful man in the entire world."
(Clinton)"I know, I know okay? I get it! I'm number one! I understand! But dammit! I'm just missing something. There's just gotta be a say to make this better!"
You know, it's all just so insane to me!
Q: Any great cigar moments you've had sharing a cigar with anybody?
A: I used to write on corks, when I first started enjoying fine wines. I used to write on the cork the date and the company that I had when I was drinking the wine. And then I started doing it with the cigar bands. About six years ago. Damn I wish I had gone through the bands before today, because I would have had some really good stories to tell you. There have been some pretty remarkable smokes over the years. None of which come to mind right now. I fried way too many brain cells in the seventies to help you with something like that. But I'd be happy to go through them, because there are several biggies. To be honest, one of the first Monte Two's I ever smoked was given to me by Michael Kuhn. He is the head of Gramercy,
I think, you might want to check that out. We were a the Cannes Festival in the South of France, with "The Usual Suspects". We had gone to the premier earlier that day on the red carpet with literally five hundred paparazzi on one side five hundred on the other. More than the Academy Awards, it's just insane. The suspects walking up the carpet, we were treated like the Beatles had arrived. Absolutely one of a kind experience. One of the greatest moments of all time for me in show business. They so loved the film. Especially in Europe. OF course it did well here, but it swept through Europe with such great success. It actually opened up in Paris the same time as the Val Kilmer Batman, and stomped it. It was a huge huge film in Europe. So after the whole premier thing, and after the whole days activities of doing interviews with the international press, sitting at the Majestic Hotel across from the theatre where we had spent the day earlier, with this incredible moment, and now the President of Gramercy is handing out Monte Cristo number two's. It might have been the first one I ever had. That was one of the greatest cigar moments, basking in the glory of such a historic day for me.
Q: Tell me the watch story.
A: Oh yeah. (With a German accent), Franc Mueller! My wife bought me this for my fortieth birthday at the Mirage hotel in Las Vegas, where we were going later that night to attend the Tyson fight. We were ringside. This guy apparently was an ornicoligist, ornicology, the study of watches. At the University Institute in Switzerland, every year to the number one student, I guess Rolex gives an oyster watch in pieces to this number one student. The premise is congratulations, put the watch together since you're such a genius, and you've got yourself a great watch! Franc Mueller, puts it together adding a moon face, and turns it into a perpetual calendar watch as well, and offers to sell it back to them for $200,000. And show them how to make it so they can sell a $200,000 watch. They said, "We don't really make $200,000 watches, but thank you Francy!" So he went on and sold the watch himself for $250,000 and started his own company, and now he is indeed considered the number one most respected and revered watchmaker in the world. He has his own line of watches. I have the Havana. They have a dozen different faces that he offers all with diterno style of the actual casing. This is after 17 years of collecting antique watches, now I'm only wearing this. If you like your watches, this is a great toy to have!
Q: Tell me about Schmutz!
A: I'm working on a movie, "Indian Summer" thank you for seeing it, and we're at a lunch break. This production assistant comes up to me to tell me lunch is over and it's time to go back to work. He's a big guy, hasn't missed a meal in awhile. He has a prestine yellow sweatshirt on. He's got one little piece of schmutz, just this blotch the size of a nickel of like chili that he must have had at lunch. I look at the middle of this sweatshirt and said, "Hey pal, you got a little schmutz there!" This bell went off in my head, I said, wouldn't it be great if you actually made schmutz on purpose! You fasten it like a tie tac with the clip on the back and you call it Anti Social Decorative Wear. Kids can wear it, cause they love to be anti-social. All those wives and girlfriends who have to put up with their boyfriends and husbands who think they're funny? As a tie tac gag gift it seemed perfect. I created this thing called Schmutz, and the fine folks at Spencer Gifts agreed to put it out, and they have 600 stores nationwide. I'm giving over half my proceeds to Pediatric Aids. A gag gift, a great stocking stuffer! A silly idea that kicked around my head for six seven years and here it is!
Q: They can get it at Spencer Gifts, and can they order it through
www.SpencerGift.com?
A: Yes, help those kids.
Q: Let's close it up with words of wisdom. Pearls of wisdom that you would like to pass on to our readers on how you live your life.
A: I would say this might come with aging, but it's in our bone marrow to be competitive and ambitious as we find our way along the American dream. Still being as ambitious and competitive as I've always been, which standup comedy breeds like in a petrie dish. It isn't until recently that I've realized to embrace and celebrate the success that your having while having it instead of looking beyond to what the next thing is. Which is a big part of this business. I don't know about the various businesses of your readers, but it seems like we're always looking ahead,
to what may come from what we're doing now as opposed to drinking up, smoking in, every moment of the present as it's happening. It's such a trite sounding thing perhaps to say live in the moment, it certainly sounds trite to me when I hear most people say it. But I have found it just in the last couple of years. (A plane goes by.) "Take Cover!!!!" I've found that in the last couple of years that if this is as good as it gets? I'm the happiest guy in town.